A teenager in mordor revised
by Annoying Brat
Summary: Its BACK people! BACK! Once more you shall follow Mel as she takes the road rarely gone by most fangirls. Into the evil side of things..and pity it, pity it greatly.
1. Default Chapter

I like the concept of my humour story 'a teenager in Mordor' but I wanted to try something serious. So I decided, what would it be like if 'a teenager in Mordor' wasn't humour? I got this (at three am in the morning with a cat sleeping on your head you get strange thoughts). And, for those fans who liked it better when it was more fun, I'm reposting the original as well so NEVER FEAR!

Disclaimer: does anyone actually read these? I mean I could just ramble on here about nothing and stuff and say that I'll give a million dollars to anyone who asks (im not though) and no one would know. Actually maybe I should try something like that….anyways. Yadda yada yadda, I own nothing bar the creations of my own mind. So hands off Mel and her family. As the saying goes (Something I ripped off someone else's site, please don't sue) No touchie. No stealie. Stealing means war. War is bad. 

____________________________________________________________

Normal day, normal way. 

You know, the usual. Wake up, go to school, go home, sleep, wake up, go to school…you get the idea. Sounds simple neh? Ordinary, it's the routine most sweet sixteen year olds go through daily. 

Ah, but wait, you haven't met my family before have you? Its pure and utter chaos. Six children, plus two parents all in a four bedroom house with one bathroom. What fun we have in the morning.

Luckily enough the two eldest, my dear brother Aaron and sister Kate are off at university, having finished high school and all. They're off to get some degree or other, I don't really care that much. Then there's my older brother before me, at eighteen he's just finishing up school and is looking to get an apprentiship in some trade.

Beneath me are the twins. We call them that even though they're really not twins at all, being three years apart and all. Alice is thirteen and the best damn manipulator I've seen this side of the law, the other is Banjo. I call him that, though he HATES it, but since he's the youngest he doesn't have much say in the matter. Why are they the twins? Cause they virtually are, spending all their time together scheming away at this and that. 

Then there's me, the third in line out of six. Our parents have a handful, that's for sure. 

It may _sound _like all normal and calmish…but believe me, that's just a front we put up to confuse the local Jehovah's witnesses, who are damn persistent neighbours of ours. 

The first two, they're the smartest, I'll give them that. Aaron, Kate, they know virtually everything and can talk they're way out of any situation. The brains of the family. 

Craig is the wild child, impulsive, daredevil, adrenalin junkie extraordinaire. You name it he's attempted it, abseiling, skydiving, hang gliding, snowboarding. He likes throwing himself out of plains a lot, or anything at any dizzying height for that matter. Can't see the fuss about it myself personally. 

Alice is the resident obsessive fanatic, with Banjo coming close second. They switch through fandoms a lot, idols changing every month or so. I believe the current ones are the Matrix and Daredevil. Banjo, however, is still firmly a star wars freak and forever will be. He's got an actual complex model of the millennium falcon hanging in his room as we speak. Not the crappy kind, I mean the full on mechanics that usually take thirty year olds months to assemble. He finished it in weeks. 

Then there's me again. What can I say about myself? Local school terrorist would sum it nicely. You are officially looking at the student who has the most detentions of any other pupil in the city, maybe the state. I'm also a crack shot with a pea shooter and currently hold the best aim in class. Course no one's really willing to try and beat my record, and who can compete? What marksmanship, right between the eyes. Principle wasn't at all happy at being the target, which earned me the mother load of all detentions. It was worth it though, just to see the look in his face.

So as you see, most would not exactly call us the 'typical' western family. It has its perks though, booyea it does. However, it's kind of hard to find any when your running late for school and need a shower but your older sister home for the holidays is hogging the bathroom.

"Come onnn….you've been in there for hours!" I pounded impatiently on the door. As usual, her predictable answer wavered through the door.

"Just a minuit!"

"That's what you said ten minuets ago, I gotta get to school already damnit". I was not a happy chappy, and looked worse. So I'm not the best morning person, sue me.

Banjo ran past, arms outstretched and making bizarre noises. I think he was trying to be an aeroplane as he circled me then ran into the kitchen, nearly running Craig down as he came out into the hall.

"Careful" he called, steadying him. 

Banjo took off for refilling, by the smell in the air it was hash browns on the menu. Damn, there better be something left when I got there, Dad's cooking was the best. Though anything saturated in oily fat was good in my books, bar the vegetable incident one night. It lead to a new house rule, don't let dad get inventive with the cooking.

"Welcome to the land of the living" I called out grinning. Craig cracked a smile back. It was a running joke between us. His night job made it rare for him to be up in the mornings, and when he did make the effort he literally looked like something a dog mauled. 

"Ah, you know, just couldn't resist. All this air, colour, beautiful ladies" He added, making Mum laugh as she past. He bowed to her with a murmur of 'madam' teasingly. 

"Honestly, you kids" she shook her head in amusement, trying to smother the smile. "How was work?"

"Just got back" was the reply. Ouch. Up all night and part of the day, don't know how that boy does it. I can barely keep awake through class, and that's with more than the six hours average rest he gets. 

He headed to his room to crash, just as the bathroom door opened and Kate got out.

"Oh hallelujah" I thew my hands in the air and dived into the steam clogged bathroom, dragging my school bag in hand. It was too late for a wash, and Kate would of used the hot water anyway. Quick brush through to get rid of the worst of the bed hair, a splash of cold water to wake me up and on to scrubbing my teeth.

Thank god I had the foresight to pack my bag yesterday evening or I would be _really _late. Just for once I liked the idea of getting out of school on the average time as everyone else. A quick glance at the clock, steam clogged. Damn, no use there. 

I wiped the white fog of the window with the sleeve of my pyjama, grinning slightly at my reflection.

I was a mess, my shock of short blue hair barely lying flat, toothpaste dribbling out of my mouth, still in my baggy PJ's with the clinched teddy bear pic on it. 

"Love ya baby"

Yes, I'm talking to my reflection, so what? Others may think differently about my looks, but who cares? I'm not them am I? I'm not anything special but I still love me. That's what I get for living with a new-agy mother who's all into self confidence and what not. Like I said, weird family.

My 'afore mentioned' mother pounds hard on the door, startling me.

"Hurry up Mel"

"Alright alright, I'll be there in a sec!" I returned to nearly chocking myself half to death with the toothbrush. You'd think they'd give me a couple of secs wouldn't you? 

I hear her again, this time more persistent. Can't here what's she's saying but I was always a good guesser.

"Alright, ALRIGHT! Just give me a sec, I don't wanna go in plain underwear you know!"

The insistent babble continued, after not heeding the point was trying to make. Must not of had her coffee yet.

Wait a moment, mum wasn't normally like that. Nor was mum masculine in voice, unless she was keeping some secrets from the family. And it didn't sound as if it was coming from outside the room. It sounded eerily enough like it was coming from some ware to my left….the toilet.

I started to back away slowly, towards the door. Great, our bathroom appliances were possessed. Oh that would lead to some interesting explanations with the local plumber.

__

Yes? Hello, there seems to be a bit of problem with the loo. It keeps spitting out split pea soup and laughing evilly. What? That ISN'T a regular occurrence? I'm sorry, we already tried a priest, he didn't appreciate the dunking he got. Darn toilet seems rather touchy about being exorcist. 

I froze at the door, hand on the knob. My school bag was sitting close to the now ghostly inhabited object, a little to close for my liking. Heck in the room was too close for me at the moment, but I couldn't just leave it there. Somehow I don't think the teachers would accept my excuse as to why I left it behind. Sure it would give me points for originality but I _really _wanted home on time for once. Just once. Is that too much to ask?

I wavered uncertainly, all the while the creepy chanting voice making my skin crawl. The words I had never heard anything like before, it was like electricity almost, the hairs on my arm were sticking up with static.

I took a breath and held it, what for I don't know but it seemed to help. 

__

Im crazy I told myself firmly as I darted for it, hand grabbing the bag in a vice like grip. Just then, the split second before I was about to dash back to the relative safety of the door and outside in the hall, the words stopped. Just like that, stopped dead. That didn't shock me nearly as much at what I saw.

One minuet I was in a normal, safe bathroom, if not somewhat creepy now. The next, I'm standing in the middle of nowhere I recognised, bag in one hand, toothbrush in the other and a mouth full of frothy toothpaste. 

No flashing lights, no loud thunderous noises. Not even any smoke effects. One minuet there, the next here, just like that.

__

Note to self, beware possessed plumbing.

_____________________________________________________________

Hows the remake? Does third person suit it? I hope so. The original I will probably still work on, as soon as I find it all that is. I like to think that my writing has improved, and the grammar. But grammar and punctuation were always a problem of mine. *Sigh* oh well.

Please…Read and review…though if you got this far it means you read it. Congrats! How bout the review part now?


	2. 2

In detail I was suddenly in a largish room, everything looking as if it was carved somehow out of one giant block of black stone. In some twisted style that reminded me of those old haunted gothic castles. And just as drafty too, though right now the cold wasn't all that occupying.

Standing just out of the line of my vision was a blurred white figure. Slowly, cautiously I turned my head to see it fully. You know the feeling you get when you just _know _something unpleasant is there and you really don't want to see it? Yea, I was getting that now. Really strongly. 

Some incredibly old looking guy with a white beard stands there, with a heck of a big nose that I swear can't be real. It's like a fog horn or something, I'm serious. Maybe he should rent himself out for ships. 

My face would have faulted in disbelief if it wasn't frozen. The guy was wearing a dress! A big billowy white dress with long sleeves. Very long sleeves at that. In one skeleton like hand was a tall strait staff made out of the same stone the room seemed to be carved from, topped by a milky white sphere that looked to be made of smoky quarts or something similar.

So I just materialised in the middle of a strange room, there's a strange old man who looks like he's dropped his marbles some time ago and I'm in nothing but my pyjamas. What do I do then?

I didn't panic, I didn't scream nor did I faint away. Course I didn't do much else either. Just stare. 

Keep in mind here its only been, what? Three seconds? Around about that. Three seconds to take it all in.

The old man seemed as surprised to see me as I was. Probably wondering who the hell I am and where exactly I came from, let alone HOW I appeared.

Funnily enough it's like I've seen him before. Somewhere. Not a very comforting thought.

The man shouts something out, commanding. I didn't really catch it, hope it wasn't to me.

Wadda ya know, its not after all, its for the guards or something cause guess what comes running in? That's right, guards. Or so I gather from all the sharp looking metal things on them. 

I gulp reflexively, throat suddenly dry. Also swallowing a mouth full of frothy toothpaste as well, but right now I really don't care. 

I nearly sicked it right back up when I catch sight of ones face. Ugh, road kill. Who took a sledgehammer to this guy? 

Twisted, literally it was. It looked as if his nose had been broken a few times and was extremely flat. Actually it was the sort of flat of a cat or something, very broad. Ears looking as if they were mangled at one point, bald, piercing along the eyebrow ridge and this is not like the normal mall piercing you get. It looked like some form of mutilation. Oh, and lets not forget the sickly yellow eyes and puke green tinge to its skin. 

A quick glance over the other few. Yup, all very disturbing looking as well. One even had an entire metal plate welded to his head somehow. It looked like a deranged hat of some kind. 

If I wasn't freaked before, I sure as hell was now.

"Latex, it's got to be latex" I tried to consol myself. Damn good latex masks at that. No way were they real. Nothing that hideous existed…though my gym teacher came close. 

Next thing I know I'm being hustled out of the room, not putting much of a resistance up. I was speechless, stunned and shocked, still trying to process the fact that Kansas didn't seem to be around anymore. 

There was one way to know for certain though. A crazy and plain stupid idea. My theory? The 'escorts' of mine couldn't be real. Not from where I came from, hence if I could prove beyond a doubt that they weren't in fact a part of reality then it was all a mass hallucination of mine. Simple. Now to test it.

Without hesitation I struck out at the closest, grabbing hold of both its ears and yanking with all my might, trying to take the mask off. 

Problem, it didn't. must have been glued on tight.

The creature let out a god awful howl and reeled back, jerking me along with him. The second tried to help his comrade, mottled brown arm darting out. It barely missed me, if it wasn't for the one I was trying to uncover flinging his head about to try and shake me off. 

I get travel sick easily, very easily. This was no picnic let me tell you. The familiar nausea rose up and I let go hurriedly, trying my best to keep it down. I dodged the second one again and the first recovered, looking quite pissed as well. I don't think he liked me trying to rip his face off.

He charged at me. No, I don't think he liked it at all.

"Eep"

It was a reflex action, I swear. My right hand came up to ward him off instinctively. The hand that still had the toothbrush in it, of all things. I'm sure he saw it coming, kinda hard to miss when it jabs you strait in the eye.

He screamed a few words in a different language, most likely curses, but it didn't stop him. These things are tough, I'll give 'em that. Barely squinted as he wiped away the gooey toothpaste with the back of his hand, then strait back at me.

The third creature was leaning against the wall and laughing, laughing like crazy. Oh yea, it was a real riot, me about to get beaten seven shades of blue.

The clawed hand grabbed at my throat, grasping it tight. Its dirty claw like nails dug into my skin as he slowly squeezed, choking me.

I pounded hard on its arm, desperately. What were his parents? Rocks!? It hurt my fists a lot more than him, they just seemed to bounce off.

My throat began to spasm reflexively now, trying to gulp down air in response to my lungs that were beginning to burn.

I tried kicking out desperately, feet not even reaching his shin.

Help, someone help! Can't they see he's killing me?! My chest is on fire. God it burns! Owowowowowow…I needed air.

My hands clawed weakly at its wrist, trying to pry him off. I could feel my mind starting to slow, going dizzy from the lack of air. 

Black dots flashed in my eyes, flickering on and off like Christmas lights. The only sound I could here was the pounding of blood in my ears, throbbing with my every heart beat.

Suddenly, blessed ice gushed down my throat, cooling my chest. AIR! Half gulping, half reaching I breathed deeply. 

It took me a few moments for the pain to lessen and my mind to catch up with what happened. The brute had dragged me along like that, throttling me at the same time before carelessly tossing me into an empty room.

I was on my knees, one hand massaging my tender throat and the other supporting myself. I glared up at the smirking creature in the doorway, somehow trying to stagger to my feet with fists clenched. 

"Why you … URK!"

My bag nailed me square in the chest, winding me as I was sprawled hard on my back. Ow this grounds hard…I think I broke my spine…owie owie owie.

I groaned and tried to roll over, big bad and ugly barking out a laugh as he slammed the door shut. Must not of taken too kindly to the whole face incident. It was his face, by the way, his real one. I found out that much. And that their not one to mess with, and this is all real, Not some mass hallucination like I was praying for. Damn, things don't seem to be going my way today.

I reached out for my bag and realised I was shaking, badly. My teeth were tapping out their own little ditty with it.

The room was dark, very dark. I could barely see at all, and the black walls didn't help much there. Not just dark, it was also cold, which was part of the reason why I was shaking. 

I really wanted a jumper, not my flimsy baggy pyjamas with the almost obscenely cute bear on it. I hugged my school bag to me, hoping that by thought power alone it could turn into a portable heater. No such luck.

Waiiiit a sec, my school bag. I was suppose to have gym today….I packed it last night….clothes! I zipped my bag open and rummage through it greedily, for once thanking the stupid school rule of sport clothes. 

Quick change…what's this? Oh, it's the wrong way. Your heads meant to go through the hole, not the sleeve. Righto then.

Our school has a uniform policy...dark green shirt, I mean really dark green almost black, and jeans. Technically its meant to be dark blue trousers but we get let off with jeans, thank you slack arse teachers.

Its warmer now, and I can try to think without the chills distracting me.

Okay…think Mel think…what's going on? Its not a dream or overactive imagination. 

I rub my neck slightly, wincing. Ouch its tender. There's gunna be one heck of a bruise there later. At least the scratches have clotted already, hope they don't get infected. 

So, I have proved beyond a doubt it is all very much real. Kansas has been officially nuked, bye Auntie Em, so long Toto. 

Question, where am I then if not home? Try and remember...does anything seem familiar? There was the man in a dress, I thought he was familiar somehow. Lets see…white dress, tall walking stick, white beard that reminds me of Dumbledore. WIZARD! that's what he reminds me of. 

My feelings of accomplishment for having figured it out faded quickly into confusion.

I'm in Harry potter?! 

No, that wouldn't explain the whole Frankenstein critters, I mean there's only one Dudley in the book and unless he cloned himself… so a place that's got wizards then. That sure made it easier considering the tens of thousands of books of fantasy, then there's the RPG's, movies and lets not forget fanfics!

Alice would know, she would of spotted it within a few seconds. 

Come onnn…try to remember, what are some of her favourites. Well there's daredevil, matrix, Jaws, Alien series oh and the predator, the mummy….umm… robin hood men in tights, think Alice not me! Wait. What about the ones who dressed like robin hood? What was that again? Lord of something or other….RINGS! That's it. They had the uglies in it. And the wizard. SCORE! I remembered! Then I did remember it.

"I'm screwed". Booyea I was. I didn't know the details but from Alice spouting off facts at random times, not to mention the sudden elf fanatics that sprung up all over school, I knew the general plot of what was going to happen. Civil war, that's what was going on, a country fighting with itself. Worse yet in medieval times. Meant bad food, bad hygiene and feminism hadn't even been thought of. They still hadn't thought of much alternative fighting methods other than poke the odd bad guy with something sharp and hope your own head don't get lobbed off.

I can't figure out if that's a good thing or not, though why it would concern me I haven't a clue.

Lets see, I'm not that strong, prone to running rather than stand my ground and had no people skills whatsoever. Versus an entire country that's full of superstition and who's motto is 'survival of the fittest'. 

I don' think I'll be doing much survival, all I had in my arsenal was a loud mouth and a 21st century mind. Oh, and a bag full of school stuff. Yea, that just increases my chances _so _much. Not. 

Maybe I can dazzle them a bit with a few magic tricks, or describe to them the wonders of Egyptian dynasty from my history book. 

I giggled to myself, the high pitch kind that doesn't sound as if my grasp on reality was very strong. And it wasn't. I mean, wizards, sorcerers, orcs…what was going on? Maybe Camelot was just down the road then, pigs COULD fly after all. Where's my faerie godmother around here? I want off this ride. Send me back with a flick of her wand. Why not? They had everything else here. The classic tale of good versus evil, magic, fantasy, its all here. 

The problem was I happened to be in one of the worse places to be, evil bad guys home, so to speak. I was dead, or would be soon enough. My chances of life were not that great, and I really wanted to live.

Okay…try and focus here. I was in a castle..nonono, they didn't have castles here. Some sort of tower I think, that really big one. Didn't they have two different towers? Yea, they did, one for the main baddie the other for the sub, hence the title 'two towers'. But which one was I in? The secondary bad guy…the other one was just a flaming eyeball, and I distinctly remember not seeing one. It would be kinda hard to miss, with the fire and the evil and all. 

"Think, thikthinkthink! Remember what Mum taught you….aside from the whole flower power hippie love thing…. Use all your resources that you have and then some"

Sure this wasn't exactly lost in the wilderness but it still was a survival situation, the same basics could apply.

What exactly did I have to work with here. It was meant to be a full on day at school today so my bag would have tons of junk. 

Lets see, there's my chemistry book, my Mathematics book, my biology book, my English book, my history book, some books from the library, pencil case with assorted pens and pencils, spray deodorant for sport, some girl sanitary products, file with a bunch of file paper, and a little dog whistle out of a cereal box hidden somewhere at the bottom. Oh and around four dollars eighty in change. 

Great, just gimme some matches and I can create a bonfire, maybe burn the tower down. Or I can try and sway them with a little Shakespearian.

What did they do to prisoners anyway? Torture….yup, mainly torture, with the occasional execution at the end but extreme pain first. So history usually proclaims anyway.

My shivering started up again. I did not like what my mind could come up with there. 

Think realistically, what could I most likely expect here. What did I know of this place and its occupants? Not a hell of a lot.

Orcs, orcs are bad, avoid them. Saruman, Saruman _turned _bad, avoid him too. That about sums it up.

Whatever does happen, it would bound to be unpleasant, did I really want to stay here and find out what it was? No, no I didn't. 

Easier said than done. The only way out of the room was the door, and that was very firmly shut. Still, it was worth a shot.

I got up and pushed at it, it didn't budge. I pushed harder, adding my shoulder to it, nothing, not even a small shift. 

DAMNIT! Stupid door! I hit it, not the smartest thing to do. 

It hurt, but I realised one crucial thing, the door was a little to the left. 

Nursing my sore hand I moved over and tried again, this time on the actual door! Its dark in here, I got as little confused with direction, so sue me.

Wadda ya know, its not locked. I smile hopefully as I creek it open a bit. Light washed in, blinding me slightly. I blink to clear my vision only to have the door suddenly close again forcefully as someone shoved it, rapping me sharply on the forehead. OW! Damn, it would figure they set a guard.

I ponder, a stupid idea forming. No way would it work, no one's that dense. Still…I rap sharply on the wood, wincing slightly. My knuckles did not like it one bit.

"Hey…is anyone there?" I called . There was a shuffling of feet. Yup, someone definitely was.

"Can I open the door a bit please?"

"No" was the answer that I heard. The voice was rough, reminding me of sandpaper somehow.

"It's stuffy in here alright? There's no window and I'm gunna suffocate if I don't get any fresh air"

There was a snort of amusement from the other side, obviously not caring. 

"If I die you're the one held responsible" that's if someone cares if I'm alive or not, and I doubt anyone does. Once again nothing.

"Look, you'll have a dead body on your hands and _then _what are you going to do?"

"Well…I am a bit hungry…." That stopped me dead. EWWWW Gross! Okay, so I couldn't reason with him. Another idea formed, just as likely as the last. I took a breath and began to sing.

"This is the song that doesn't end, yes it goes on and on my friends…"

The idea? I wouldn't shut up unless gagged and for that to happen the door would have to be opened. For that to happen all I had to do was annoy him enough. Easy for me, I'm the school terror after all. Annoying is my specialty.

"….some people started singing it not knowing what it was…"

"Shut up!"

"..and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that doesn't end…"

It took ten minuets before whoever it was finally snapped. The door was wrenched open and a head poked in.

"SHUT YER TRAP"

THUNK!

All it took was one hit and he was out cold. Then again, the school bad WAS rather heavy, and probably not nice when colliding with the base of your skull. I dropped it next to the sprawled body and checked the wrist for a pulse. I didn't want to kill the thing after all, I wasn't a murderer. It was there, and strong. Most likely wake up with one hell of a headache but nothing serious. 

I dragged the body in the room, straining. I wasn't a particularly strong person and the body was bloody heavy to me.

Out of sight for the moment, I quickly hopped out with my bag on my shoulder and closed the door fast. There was no lock, it looked to be a storeroom of some kind so a lock wouldn't be needed. That wasn't good, as ugly could wake up any moment and hunt me down. I planned to be well away from here when that happened.

__

Who would of thought school books would actually be useful?


End file.
